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A Field Trip To a Gun Range? The Scary Details
A Pueblo County, Colo. middle school sent a group of students this week on a field trip to a firing range, television station KRDO reported.
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Wonkette Babby Wins All-Important New Hampshire ‘Morning Joe’ Primary
ALL HAIL WONKETTE BABY! You already know that, because you “all hail” her all the time. But if you were doing your normal routine Tuesday, which is obsessively staring at the respective Twitter feeds of Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, jus
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Pansy POW Loser John McCain Still Against Torture, Will Never Be President Now
Sen. John McCain has some stern words for you Republican presidential candidates who had yourselves a grand ol’ party time on Saturday night, debating whether waterboarding is torture (it is), whether we should do it anyway (we should not), and why
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In 24 Hours, These Bernie Sanders T-Shirts Will Self-Destruct
Hey, remember when that nice and lawyer cease and desisted our most excellent Bernie Sanders For The Future T-shirts, because of how some (dumb) people might get a confuse? Well, this is your honest to goodness last chance Texaco to put one on your bosoms
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BREAKING: Donald Trump Wins Iowa Caucuses!
Guys, hot off the presses and BREAKING! and all of that stuff. The final Iowa caucus results have been released, by Donald Trump’s brain, and it turns out Ted Cruz did NOT win. Turns out Trump was the winner all along, but you didn’t know that
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NH Primary Down To Donald Trump’s Watermelon-Sized Balls, Ted Cruz’s Vagina
In Manchester, New Hampshire, Monday night, Donald Trump continued an unbroken string of getting away with crap that would have sunk any other campaign in history, enthusiastically repeating a supporter’s shout that Ted Cruz is a pussy for hesitatin
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Florida Man Hurls Gator Through Wendy’s Drive-Thru Window, Becomes Apex Florida Man
It’s been way too long since we’ve had the opportunity to check in on the adventures of Florida Man. Happily, he’s back. There’s just no more clever way to say this: a dude in Royal Palm Beach, Florida, hurled an alligator thr
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5 Injuries the Patriots Dodged a Bullet With
Here are five players who went down this season who are back and fall under the "they're lucky they didn't lose them for the year" as it pertained to their ailments.
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Ohio Attorney General Lied About Planned Parenthood
Unable to substantiate the ‘baby parts for cash‘ hoax against Planned Parenthood, last December Ohio Republican Attorney General Mike DeWine tried moving the goalposts instead. Claiming that the organization had failed to “humanely&rdquo
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: Uh-Oh, Wonkette’s Killing White Folks Again!
Happy “Big Game Sunday” — as all the ads which haven’t paid the necessary licensing fee must call it — O ye Wonkers! Are you rooting for the one team of giant men who will suffer permanent brain damage for America’s amu
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Pro-Lifer Buys Abortion Clinic To Offer Women Enticing New Range Of BS ‘Choices’
Look. We know that the very essence of the anti-choice movement is based on just stone cold lying to women, legislatures, courts, whatever. From telling people that AIDS can get through condoms to informing abortion-having sluts that they’ll pr
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More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers
Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. Today, we’ve got one of the classics: stories of fantastically dumb restaurant customers. As always, these are real emails from real readers. I
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Fine, Here Is Your Bernie Sanders On SNL Already. Are You People Happy Now?
As everyone knows, there are two objectives for any political candidate appearing on Saturday Night Live: Get your face on SNL, and do it without embarrassing yourself too badly. And don’t even try to match the performance of Jesse Jackson when he w
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Gisele Bundchen Sends Message To Patriots Fans For Supporting Tom Brady
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady had quite the 2015.
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Patriots' AFC Championship Loss Summed Up Perfectly In Memes
The New England Patriots' AFC Championship Game loss to the Denver Broncos on Sunday was met with myriad emotions — and, of course, memes.
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Does Bill Belichick Have Any Regrets in Loss to Broncos?
There was a lot of second-guessing going around New England after the Patriots' AFC Championship Game loss on Sunday.
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Broncos Still NFL's Biggest Cheaters
There's nothing that will change the fact the New England Patriots lost Sunday. But Patriots fans might feel better if they take a few shots at the Denver Broncos on their way out.
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The Most Absurd Moments for The Patriots and The NFL
Monday marks the one-year anniversary of the day NFL fans found out that some people really, really care about the air pressure in footballs.
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Manti Te'o's New Girlfriend, Model Jovi Niicole, Is Real This Time
It looks like Manti Te'o has found himself a new girlfriend. This time, though, she's real.
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Top 12 Team USA Basketball Snubs
Basketball is in the midst of a golden age of talent.
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Jordan Spieth Buys $7M Dallas Mansion With Indoor Basketball Court
Jordan Spieth reportedly bought a mansion worthy of the No. 1 golfer in the world.
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Stephen Gostkowski: Patriots' Family Atmosphere Begins With Robert Kraft
The Patriots' family atmosphere starts with their owner.
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Did the Patriots Strategy vs Miami Help Their Playoff Chances?
But Belichick's plan, unlike the gamble in overtime vs the Jets, at least worked out because New England escaped their final regular season contest seemingly without any further injuries.  
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Why Did the Patriots Fall Flat in Miami?
Keshawn Martin and Brandon LaFell contributed three catches for 11 yards against one of the poorer pass defenses in the league...that isn't getting it done and is unacceptable.
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Floyd Mayweather Shares Photo Of New Pet Tiger On Instagram
Floyd Mayweather is one of the richest athletes in the world and he's not afraid to show it.
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Bill Belichick's Locker Room Message To Patriots
The New England Patriots are officially on the grind.
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The 12 Best Heisman Trophy Winners
The Heisman Trophy, one of the most prestigious awards in sports, will be handed out for the 81st time to the best player in college football.
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Rory McIlroy Reportedly Engaged To Girlfriend Erica Stoll
Don't expect Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki to rekindle the flame anytime soon.
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Conor McGregor's 10 Best Trash-Talking Moments Will Leave You Crying
Conor McGregor says a lot of crazy things.
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Are Tom Brady and Darrelle Revis Feuding?
The speculated breach between former teammates Tom Brady and Darrelle Revis?
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UFC's Pound-For-Pound Fighter Rankings Entering 2016
The UFC made major strides in 2015, and it gave mixed martial arts fans plenty of exciting events featuring the sport's best fighters.
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The UFC's Best Moments Of 2015
The UFC reached new heights in 2015 with a year full of memorable fights, historic upsets and fighters becoming global superstars.
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Sean Doolittle Was Psyched To See 'Star Wars'; His Girlfriend? Not So Much
Sean Doolittle is a huge "Star Wars" fan, which wasn't the greatest thing for his girlfriend Thursday.